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Dick (1999) movie quotes:

"1. You're deep throat? 2. We both are. 1. How old are you? 2. 23. 2. Is that your combined ages? 1. There's no need to be snotty."

"Shutup Checkers, or I'll feed you to the Chinese!"

"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me! Uh, you smell like cabbage!"

"Hey, she's bummin' 'cause her dreams of being an only child are dashed against the rocks."

"Doesn't anybody realize that Kung Fu isn't Chinese? He doesn't even look Chinese. He looks like the mailman."

"Arlene: Why were all those men shredding papers in that room? Dick: Uh, paper mache is a hobby of mine."

"Dick: Jesus pat will you stop snorring godamnit! My heads about to explode!"

"Dick: You're supposed to love me checkers!"

"Jesus Pat, will you stop snoring."

"Dont worry your pretty little heads."

"I'm afraid that the president has the weight of the free world resting on his shoulders and does not have time to see any old person."

"Not that I'm comparing myself to deGaulle..."

"You are a meanie!"

"Leineze you gotta try some of these cookies!"

"Hey, what are these little green leaves in the walnuts?"

"When you think of the President, you don't think... Unfriendly thoughts, do you?"

"I got drafted. Now you can get my room like you always wanted."

"NO DONT TELL HIM hes tring to trick us 2. ohhh (grabs his arm) 1. Dont you EVER touch me (start hitting each other) you smell like cabbage"

"Every lie is another brick in the pathway to Hell."

"Because of your thoughtlessness, we have missed our field trip at McDonald's."

"YOU SUCK, DICK!"

"Call me Dick."

"I love you, I love you, I honestly love you."

"Larry: did you two eat all those cookies? Betsy: no, actually, we gave some to mom and dad. then they ate them all, and then they started giggling and ran upstairs. I think they're having sex now."

"It doesn't look constitutional to me."

"It looks like he's wearing blush"

"Where's mom and dad? Oh, well they had some Hello Dolly's, and then they ate the whole thing, then started giggling and ran upstairs. I think they're having sex! "

"Call me Dick."

"Sir, I have met yams with more goin' on upstairs than those two."

"Ladies, when you think of your president, do you think friendly thoughts?"

"I do know one thing: Dick's ass is grass."

"(1)...and if you stay, you're just as bad as him!! (2)*hand over mouth* GASP!"

"1) ...and if you stay, you are no better than him!!! 2) (pause)....(hand to mouth)...*GASP*"

"Do you wanna make out?"

"It looks like he's wearing blush."

"It figures the pain in my ass is Nixon - the facist."

"French fries! French Fries"

"Every lie you tell is just another brick to the path to hell!"

"Checkers pooped- The president's dog doesn't poop, he does his business. Oh"

"Now everybody thinks that I'm a schmuck!"

"I love dick!"

"1. Quick! Tell me what your name is! 2. Rhoda Morgenstern. 1. Whew!"

"1. Arlene, come away with me. 2. But what about Pat? 1. She understands."

"I think your cookies just saved the world from nuclear catastrophe."

"I assure you there's nothing like them in all the Soviet Union."

"It looks like he's wearing blush. (laughs)"

"Arlene, you're a genius!"

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, because of National Security but what the heck!,"

"1. I found all these old newspaper clippings about Dick when he was younger. 2. He's way more distinguished now."

"1. Checkers pooped! 2. The President's dog doesn't poop, he does his business. 1. Ohhh."

"1)So let's just get right to it. Who is Deepthroat? 2)Well, first of all we're not telling you! Second of all, I was under the impression that I would be the only guest here tonight... 3)Well I guess you're not Bob! 1)You guys are getting pretty old now.... 3)So what's your point with that? 1)Well I was just wondering are you ever gonna tell anyone who Deepthroat is before you die. 2)Well a lot bigger names than you have asked us who Deepthroat is... 3)...so I don't think we're gonna reveal it on a tiny little show like this one here. 1)Well you know what I think? I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I don't think there is any such person as Deepthroat, I think you all just made it up. 3)Yes there is Deepthroat is...! 2)DON'T SAY IT!!! HE'S TRYING TO TRICK US!!! 3)Ohhhhh..... 2)Don't EVER touch me. 3)Well I said I'm sorry... 2)Get away from me.....you smell like cabbage!!!!"

"1)So let's just get right to it. Who is Deepthroat? 2)Well, first of all we're not telling you! Second of all, I was under the impression that I would be the only guest here tonight... 3)Well I guess you're not Bob! 1)You guys are getting pretty old now.... 3)So what's your point with that? 1)Well I was just wondering are you ever gonna tell anyone who Deepthroat is before you die. 2)Well a lot bigger names than you have asked us who Deepthroat is... 3)...so I don't think we're gonna reveal it on a tiny little show like this one here. 1)Well you know what I think? I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I don't think there is any such person as Deepthroat, I think you all just made it up. 3)Yes there is Deepthroat is...! 2)DON'T SAY IT!!! HE'S TRYING TO TRICK US!!! 3)Ohhhhh..... 2)Don't EVER touch me. 3)Well I said I'm sorry... 2)Get away from me.....you smell like cabbage!!!! "

"1)So let's just get right to it. Who is Deepthroat? 2)Well, first of all we're not telling you! Second of all, I was under the impression that I would be the only guest here tonight... 3)Well I guess you're not Bob! 1)You guys are getting pretty old now.... 3)So what's your point with that? 1)Well I was just wondering are you ever gonna tell anyone who Deepthroat is before you die. 2)Well a lot bigger names than you have asked us who Deepthroat is... 3)...so I don't think we're gonna reveal it on a tiny little show like this one here. 1)Well you know what I think? I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I don't think there is any such person as Deepthroat, I think you all just made it up. 3)Yes there is Deepthroat is...! 2)DON'T SAY IT!!! HE'S TRYING TO TRICK US!!! 3)Ohhhhh..... 2)Don't EVER touch me. 3)Well I said I'm sorry... 2)Get away from me.....you smell like cabbage!!!! "

"Beer bong?"

"Kiss me...Kiss me!"

"I should have known the pain in my ass was Dick!"

"Come back here you bitches!"

"They'll crucify me if they hear that!"

"The president's dog doesn't poop. He does his business!"

"I just saw you on the street and thought you were cute."

"They're called HELLO DOLLYS!"

"Why is there oregano in the walnuts?"

"did you bring the cookies?"

"1: You have our word that we will not reveal your true identity to anyone. 2: For our own protection, right? 1: No. It would be too embarassing."

"1. How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls! 2. We are stupid teenage girls. 1. No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens! And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something."

"We have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days, and we can't find any books on it, and the President's having us followed. It's too much pressure."

"Every lie is another brick in the pathway to hell."

"I've got a way with young people. They trust me."

"Checkers--shut up! Or I'll feed you to the Chinese!"

"War is not healthy for children and other living things."

"1) Listen, have we met before or not? 2) I thought you said you remembered! 1) Hey, I remember it like it was yesterday! 2) That's funny because we never met!"

"Look! You suck, Dick!"

"Bob, tricky Dick's going down!"

"No, that's brad. I'm his roomate at school. He's at the dermatoligist."

"I'm tripping heavily already."

"Dick frightens me."

"You kicked Checkers, you're prejudiced, and you have a potty-mouth!"

"1)Just say it because I already know! 2)Alright, I love Dick!"

"I just want you to know that whatever she's on, I didn't give it to her."

"I know would you look at all that shit. Oh, I mean poo-poo!"

"It's called insest Arlene. And it's against the law."

"I have met yams with more going on upstairs than those two."

"Are you the guy that sells corndogs at the mall?"

"The gemstone is glistening. The gemstone is glistening."

"Don't touch me, don't you ever touch me! You smell like cabbage!"

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