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Jerry Maguire (1996) movie quotes:

"You Complete Me"

"Show me the money"

"you had me at hello"

"nice talk. see ya out there"

"Shut up! You had me at 'hello'."

"there's a ninty percent chance I would cheat on you"

"Give me a hug!"

"This is an energy bar it will keep you up all night."

"why don't we have that kind of relationship "

"You complete me"

"You fuck this up I'll kill you."

"My next door neighbor has 3 rabbits!"

"You have no idea what it's like to be me out here for you. It's an up at dawn pride swallowing siege, that i will never fully tell you about."

"So I don't wanna hear your shit Jerryt. I don't wanna hear your 'na-na-na I lost Kush, Avery' and shit! Anybody else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. I said I would. And if I got to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money. You gunna show me the money. (Puts headphones on.) And we together on this. Unnhhh! YA KNOW?! "

"Sorry about the hand."

"You are with the king of the kingdom.... I am..... drunk."

"You had me at hello . ."

"I'm not letting you get rid of me"

"You fuck this up I'll kill you"

"Let me help you help me"

" Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment? "

"you had me at hello"

"Dorthy: I love him, i love him for the man he wants to be and the mad that he almost is. I love him I love him I love him Kid: good morning jerry. Dorothy: tell me he's not stnding right there Laurel: he's not standing there. Jerry: Good morning ladies. Dorothy: (whispers) o my god, o my god."

"Kid: Jerry Maguire you have to stop my dad this is his 3 rd concution. Jerry: I cant stop your dad, a truck , no a tank could even stop your dad. Kid: Fuck You"

"She loves you, If you dont love her, you have got to tell her"

"you complete me"

"If you don't love everbody... you can't sell anybody."

"I ate two slices of bad pizza went to bed and grew a conscience!"

"You can't sell anyone if you don't love everyone."

"Dorothy: On the surface, everything's fine. I've got this great guy... and he loves my kid. And he sure likes me a lot. And I can't live like that... it's not how I'm built."

"Dorothy: Whoever snagged him must be some classy babe."

"Rod: I love black people!
Jerry: I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
Rod: Who's your motherfucker Jerry?
Jerry: YOU MY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!
Rod: And what are you going to do?
Jerry: SHOW ME THE MONEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!"

"Jerry: Let me just say, as I ease myself out of this office - which I helped build by the way - that there is such a thing as manners. A way of treating people. These fish have manners. These fish have manners. In fact, the fish are coming with me. You can call me sentimental, but the fish are coming with me."

"Ray: Go ahead and go...go ahead and go."

"Rod: You are holding on by a very thin thread."

"Jerry: Think back to when you first started playing football. It wasn't just about the money, was it? Was it? Was it?"

"Marcee: And say what? Please remove your dick from my ass?"

"Bob Sugar: This must be a nice moment for you. I'll let you have it."

"Dorothy: Maybe you're right. Men are the enemy. But... I still love the enemy."

"Dorothy: Tell me he's not there.
Laurel: He's not there.
Jerry: Whoa...easy ladies.
Laurel: Coffee, Jerry?
Jerry: No, we bottom feeders prefer cereal first.
Laurel: Ha ha...
Ray: Let's have Apple Jacks!
Jerry: You want Apple Jacks? Apple Jacks it is. *To Dorothy:** Good morning, darling."

"Ray: What's wrong mommy?
Dorothy: First class is what's wrong, sweetie. It used to be a better meal, not it's a better life."

"Dorothy: I think you should not come in... or come in. Depending on how you feel.
Jerry:
Same to you.
Dorothy: No, I have to go in. I live here.
Jerry: Okay.I'll come in.
Dorothy: Good... Are you sure we should be doing this?
Jerry:Hell, yes."

"Dorothy: Jerry, you know this isn't easy for me. If one of us doesn't say something now, with your need to be responsible and my need to make the best of things, we could lose ten years of our lives just being polite."

"Dorothy: The truth? I care about the job. But mostly, I just want to be inspired. That memo you wrote... that inspired me. I'm here because of that memo. I love that memo.
Jerry: It was a mission statement."

"Jerry: He said I don't know what it's like to be a black person? I'm Mister Black Person."

"Rod: There is a FLOOD in T.P'S ROOM! T.P. Say hello to Jerry Maguire.
T.P: Hello brother Maguire."

"Jerry:You know, I think the fucking zoo's closed Ray.
Ray: You said fuck!
Jerry: Yeah, I did.
Ray: Don't worry...I won't tell. "

"Jerry:Let's recap here: a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk, I had two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a CONSCIENCE!
Rod: Well boo-fucking-hoo."

"Avery: You can't hurt me Jerry, I'm too strong for you, loser."

"Avery: You are not a loser.
Jerry: Who said anything about loser?
Avery: Mistake, I meant something else, when are we leaving?"

"You had me at hello"

"You had me at hello."

"You had me at hello."

"Ray: Go ahead and go. Go ahead and go."

"Dorothy: And I still haven't figured out your noises.
Jerry: Instead of wondering, why don't you just ask.
Dorothy: I thought I just did.
Jerry: Why do you love me?
Dorothy: Why do you love me?
Ray: Jerry! Can I come in and watch TV?"

"Dorothy: Let's not tell our sad stories."

"Jerry: Now I'm not going to do what everyone expects me to do which is to just FLIP OUT!"

"Dorothy: I think you should not come in ... or come in... depending on how you feel.
Jerry: Same as you.
Dorothy: I have to go in. I live here.
Jerry: I want to come in.
Dorothy: Are you sure we should be doing this?
Jerry: Hell, yeah."

"Chad: Nanny? I prefer child technician."

"Laurel: All I'm saying is that men are different people when they're on the bottem rung.
Dorothy: And maybe I'm taking advantage of that. Does that make me a bad person? All I know is that I met one guy who was smart and popular and not so nice to me. So why should I let this man go when every bone in my body is telling me that he's the one?
Laurel: Okay, I was only looking for a few fun details.
Dorothy: Oh. Well, why didn't you just say so? There is just one thing, if your interested in hearing. I love him. I love him! I love him for the man he wants be and the man he almost his. I love him. I love him. I love him!"

"Laurel: If you fuck this up I'll kill you.
Jerry: Great. I'm glad we had this conversation."

"Shut up!! You had me at hello. You had me at hello."

"Where's the money "

"Thats not a dress thats an Audrey Hepburn movie."

"Roll with the punches, tomorrows another day"

"You know that feeling?"

"i am out there for you swallowing pride "

"bathroom quote"

"you...complete me shut up you had me at hello"

"Rod: I am a valuable commodity. I go across the middle. I see a dude coming at me...trying to kill me! I say 'Get killed...catch the ball' Boo-yah! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!"

"Ethan: Everybody loves you. Pisses me off."

"Dicky Fox: Hey, I don't have all the answers, in life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I've succeeded, but i love my wife, i love my life, and I wish you my kind of success "

"Dicky Fox: Hey, I don't have all the answers, in life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I've succeeded, but i love my wife, i love my life, and I wish you my kind of success "

"REAL MEN DON'T SHOP LIFT THE POODY FROM SINGLE MOM'S! "

"YOU COMPLETE ME!"

"It's not show friends, it's show business"

"Rod! Get on the camel!"

"Kushlash, Kushlash...Kushlash,Kushlash,Kushlash"

"You want this jacket? Cause I am cloaked in failure."

"That's not a dress,...that's an Audrey Hepburn movie!"

"What is this music?!"

"That's not a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie."

"I got this great guy. He loves my kid and he sure does like me a lot. But I can’t live like that. I’m not built like that"

"--We live in a cynical world... a cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you... and you complete me --Shutup... just shutup. You had me at hello. You had me at hello. "

"I was inspired, and I'm an accountant."

"*You had me at hello*"

"Do you know bees and dogs can smell fear?"

"You had me from hello"

"Shut up! Just shut up! You had me at hello... you had me at hello."

"How's your head? -Bubblicious"

"Please Jerry, you know this eisnt easy for me. On the surface evrything looks fine. Ive got this great guy..and he loves my kid (beat) and he sure does like me alot. And I can't live like that...it's not how i'm built ~ Dorthy Boyde"

"deezzz nuttzzz"

"See this jacket I'm wearing? You like it? Cause I don't really need it ... cause I'm cloaked ... in failure!"

"Don't You EVER... STOP... FUCKING.. ME"

"You complete me. "

"Even I read another...You had me at Hello...post, i'm going to kick some ass. Stop it already."

"Secret Garden."

"remember the names of whores you have sex with, thats what I do"

"I shoplifted the pootie."

"<3 Shut up, just shut up... You had me at Hello <3"

"Pocketful Of Rainbows."

"You are hanging on by a very thin thread...and I DIG that about you!!"

"Rod: No, no, no. I hear that you hear what I'm saying, but do you truely hear what I'm saying? kid: I hear what you're saying, Daddy! (phone rings) Jerry: Rod, would you mind holding on for a sec..? Rod: Hold on.. Didn't you tell my wife more personel attention...? DID YOU NOT TELL MY WIFE MORE PERSONEL ATTENTION?! Jerry: I said more personel attention. Rod: Good, 'cause I'm just getting started on my list you need to know... You can take notes if you want to..."

"Jerry: Hi Rod, Jerry Maguire. How are you doing? Rod: Jerry Maguire! Jerry: Yeah.. Rod: How am I doing? I'll tell you how I'm doing, I'm sweating, dude!"

"You had me at hello."

"shut up. You had me at hello. You hold me at hello."

"You complete me."

"1] You know this is going to change everything. 2] Promise? 1] What IS this music? "

"I pretended that purposal by the car was real and it might of just been a hypathetical."

"Wow. That's more than a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie."

"that's my mofo"

"(Ray) When my daddy died my mommy took me to the zoo and i like the zoo, lets go to the zoo, lets go to the zoo (Jerry) Ray.....the fuckin zoo is closed (Ray) You said fuck...i won't tell (Jerry) i guess im gunna hafta take you to the zoo then"

"1. The fuckin zoo is closed. 2. You said fuck. 1. Yes, yes i did. 2. don't worry...i won't tell"

"I Love you, you complete me. Shut up you had me at hello. You had me at hello."

"i am out here for you, you dont know what its like for me...out here for u, it is an up at dawn pride-swallowing siege, that i can never fully tell you about ok?! god help me...help me rod, help me, help you...help me, help you....help me....help you"

"Every Morning I Wake Up I Clap My Hands and Say Todays Going To BE A Good Day"

"#1- I'm from Arizona Jerry. I broke Arizona records. #2- Rod? #1- I went to Arizona State. #2- Rod? #1- I'm a Sun Devil man!"

"See this jacket I'm wearing? You like it? Cuz I don't really need it, cuz I'm cloaked ... in failure!"

"I´ll tell you why you dont have your ten million dollars, you play with you head not your heart, personal life heart, but when you get on the field is all about what you didn´t get, whose to blame who under threw the pass, who has the contract you don´t, whose no giving you you´re love, and you know what. That is not what inspires people, THAT IS NOT WHAT INSPIRES PEOPLE, shut up play the game play it from your heart, and ill show the quan, and thats the thruth, THATS THE THRUTH, can you handle it, its just a question between friens. YOU KNOW."

"You had me at hello..."

"That's not a dress, that's an Audrey Hepburn movie."

"You had me at hello"

"You gotta be fair to her.. she loves you. If you dont love her, you've got to tell her."

"You had me at hello."

"It was a 'mission statement'..."

"This is not 'guy'. This is a syndrome. It's called Early Midlife, About-To-Marry, Hanging Onto The-Bottom-Rung Dear- God-Don't-Let-Me-Be-Alone, I'll-Call-My-Newly Long-suffering-Assistant-Without Medical-For-Company Syndrome. And if, knowing all that, you still allow him to come over, more power to you. "

"I won't let you hurt me Jerry. I'm too strong for you. Loser! "

"Anybody else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. I said I would. And if I got to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money. "

"I did the 23 hour nose-route to the top of El Capitan in 6 hours and 18 minutes! I can make this work. "

"1) No one has ever dumped me 2) I'm not trying to make history, here.."

"Jerry, there is a 'sensitivity' thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies. I don't gush over babies. I don't start celebrating Christmas five months early, and I don't tell a man who just screwed up both of our lives -- 'oh, poor baby.' That's me. For better or worse. But I do love you. "

"1) What was the deal when we first got together? Brutal truth remember? 2) I think you added the 'brutal'."

"So honesty is outlawed here, I can't be honest?"

"It's all about you, isn't it? Soothe me, save me, love me--"

"You're loving me now, aren't ya? "

"You believe they're shooting a Reebok ad down there? Did I ever tell you my Reebok story? "

"I feel like I'm five years late for the Prom. "

"1) Excuse me, are you Hootie? 2) No... I'm not Hootie."

"1) Sorry, that's my son and the.....nanny. 2) NANNY?! I prefer 'Child Technician'..."

"Who said anything about 'loser?' "

"You are not a loser. "

"King of the Housecalls! Master of the Living Room! "

"(AVERY) You keep one superstar and they'll all follow. There's no real loyalty, and the first person who told me that, Jerry Maguire, was you. (JERRY) I think I was trying to sleep with you at the time. (AVERY) Well, it worked, and I will not let you fail. You are Jerry Ma-fuckin-guire! "

"Wonderful. Next time you lecture me, don't leave my little boy in a room with your Divorced Women's Group... "

"Congratulations, you're still my agent."

"My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He said 'you complete me.' "

"It's a very personal, very important thing....hey- it's a family motto. You ready? Here it is....'show me the money' "

"Martinez! Hombre, como esta?"

"No. I hear that you hear what I'm saying. But do you hear what I'm saying? "

"It's not 'show' friends....it's 'show' business..."

"1) Jerry, I wanna cry for what they did to you at SMI, if we weren't in the middle of the Acura deal you know I'd go with you. (breaking down) Oh Jerry.....oh GOD!! Call waiting....who could be calling me now.....? (cheerfully) Hi, Kathy Sanders! 2) Still me, Kathy.... 3) AAAAAAHHHHGGGGHH!!!!!"

"Now I don't know what you do with your five-percent, but this man, my husband has a whole plan, an image... and when you put him in a Waterbed Warehouse commercial, excuse me, you are making him common when you know he deserves the big four -- shoe, car, clothing-line, soft-drink. The four jewels of the celebrity endorsement dollar. We majored in marketing, babe....we came to play. "

"Glad you can finally make it in, Jerry, Rod is very, very upset. Tyson, no! "

"1) You know, I don't think we need to do the thing where we tell each other everything! 2) Jerry, this is what intimacy is..."

"Hmmmm....whoever snagged him must be some classy babe."

"You scared me! Don't do that again...ever! Ever, ever, ever!! Okay?"

"Gerry is so great at friendship...he's just bad at intimacy.."

"I know who you are. You're Dorothy Boyd. You're in Accounts. You have the middle cubicle with that poster of Albert Einstein morphed onto Shaquille 0'Neal's body. "

"So I turn to her and sort of grandly say, 'Well, this is me, Klutz, asking you, Goddess of Rock Climbing, to marry me'. And I took out the ring, and I don't much like big scenes, but she said yes right there in the lobby. We're getting married in February."

"1) How long do you give him? 2) mmm...about a week."

"I was 35. I had started my life. "

"Sorry Jerry, I just want to play football."

"The key to this business is personal relationships... "

"Hey, I'll be the first to admit it. What I was writing was somewhat touchy feely. I didn't care. I had lost the ability to bullshit. It was the me I'd always wanted to be. "

"Two nights later in Miami at our corporate conference, a breakthrough. Breakdown? Breakthrough. "

"Oh Jerry, I'm two months away from the pay increase..."

"That's how you become great, man....hang your balls out there!"

"1) I came here to fire you Jerry. 2) Pardon me? 3) Came here to let you go....it's true, you should say something..."

"Now I'm the guy you don't usually see. I'm the one behind the scenes. I'm the sports agent. "

"Jerry, you and I are sales people, we sell! It's not love me, it's not trust my handshake it's make the sale get it sign- there shouldn't be confusion about that."

"Look at me, Laurel, I'm the oldest twenty-six year old in the world...now how do I look?"

"And I'm freeeeeeeeeee! freeeee faaaaallling!!!!"

"I love you...you complete me. You had me at hello."

"You are my embassador of Quan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Thinking): Loser!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What??? You know he always gets nervous for monday nite foot-ballll"

"- Who is this?
- Who is this? This is Rod Tidwell
- Are you a football player?
- Am I a football player! Lemme tell you something boy...
- You talk too much
- What? Listen talking is only a means of communication...
- It was fun talking to you Rod, bye"

"Help me! Help you!"

"i pretended that proposal by the car was real it might have just been a hypothetical i did this and atleast i can do something about it now... J: so this break is a break up.. D:come one jerry you know this isn't easy for me...J: this is where it has to happened..and this is where it has to happen...i m not letting you get rid of me how about that im a smart guy i love you...you ...complete me....and im just... D:SHUT UP just shut up.. You had me at hello..you had me at hello "

"It was a Mission Statement!"

"I'm not gonna do what y'all think im gonna do which is FLIP OUT"

"I am a valuble commodity..i go across the middle...i see a guy comin at me..tryin ta KILL ME..i say ..get killed...CATCH THE BALL.. BOUYA!--TOUCHDOWN.. I MAKE MIRACLES HAPPEN!!"

"you had me at hello"

"you had me at hello"

"I am the fucken terminator"

"OK, so I'm not as good with the insults as her."

"Jerry: Do you know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU? It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about! "

"( #1 talking to #2) 1) Shut up... Just shut up. You had me at hello... You had me at hello!"

"I'm not going to do...what everyone thinks I'm going to do which is just FLIP OUT!"

"thats not a dress - thats an audrey hepburn movie"

"DON'T - EVER - STOP - FUCKING - ME!!!!"

"If this [heart] here is empty, then this [brain] doesn't matter."

"You are my ambassador of quaa!"

"Shut up. You had me at hello."

"The human head weighs eight pounds. "

"Wow. That's more then a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie."

"Well, boo-fucking-hoo!"

"That's not just a dress. That's an entire Audrey Hepburn movie."

"shut up, just shut up, you had me at hello"

"You had me at Hello....You had me at Hello..."

"The difference between coach and first class used to be a better meal, now it's a better life."

"I'm not gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do, which is just FLIP OUT!"

"Believe me, there's genius everywhere but until they turn pro it's like popcorn in a pan...some pop, some don't."

"You had me at hello."

"When you get on the field, it's all about what you didn't get, who's to blame, who underthrew the pass, who's got the contracts you don't, who's not giving you love. That is not what inspires people. That is not what inspires people! Shut up, play the game... play it from the heart. And I will show you Quan and that's the truth can you handle it?"

"these fish have manners"

"these fish have manners"

"Show me the money."

"You had me at hello...you had me at hello."

"SHOW ME THE MONEY!!"

"Hey, I don't have all the answers, in life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I've succeeded, but i love my wife, i love my life, and I wish you my kind of success"

"Because I'm Bob Sugar and I am the fucking terminator."

"1) the fuckin' zoo's closed 2) you said fuck!!"

"i did not shoplift the pooty...ok ok, i shoplifted the pooty"

"Who's coming with me?"

"You've got to be fair to her. She loves you. And if you don't love her, you've got to tell her."

"How about a little bit of integrity in this world that is so full of greed and a lack of honorability that I don't know what to tell my son, except here, have a look at a guy that isn't yelling show me the money! "

"Boo fuckin' who??"

"You know the difference between me and you? You think we're fighting, I think we're finally talking!"

"You know I ain't gettin any love from Rebbock. You know what fuck Rebbock!"

"Just get in the car."

"Don't cry at the beginning of that date cry at the end like I do."

"I'm Dorothy's disapporving sister Loral."

"I couldn't escape one simple thought. I hated myself. No..No..No here's what it was...I hated my place in the world. I had to so much to say and no one to listen."

"Nah, I air dry!!!"

"Laurel? We're getting married!"

"Don't say that. I mean, say it if you want to...."

"1) Averly.... 2) Nope 1) It's over. 2) Didn't hear it!"

"Jump right into my nightmare, the water is warm!"

"1) You are NOT a loser! 2) Who said anything about loser!?"

"Let's go to the zoo. Let's go right now."

"That's the price of success."

"This guy would go home with a gardening tool now if it showed interest..."

"But maybe love shouldn't be such hard work..."

"I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath."

"There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies, I don't gush over babies, I don't buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON'T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, 'Oh, poor baby.' But I do love you."

"If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I'd do it. It's not something I'm interessted in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi's or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I'm gonna get some fruit."

"Help me help you"

"show me the money!pon"

"I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!"

"Jerry Mcguire...you are my ambassador of kwan..."

"SHOW ME THE MONEY!"

"You are Jerry MA-FUCKING-GUIRE"

"You have got to be fair to her. She loves you. And if you do not love her, you have got to tell her"

"I think you should not come in...or, come in, depending on how you feel. Same to you. No, I have to go in. I live here."

"The Quan"

"I love you...you complete me. "

"I did NOT shoplift the pootie."

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